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I'm blogging about work *GASP* My computer is dying a slow painful death. Something happen along the way and it just ccccrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee (some sort of driver error I can't figure out). Since we are such a small company spending 3k on a computer is just not welcome, however; before the wedding I told my boss that it was time. It was time to put Sheldon to sleep or give him a lobotomy ( reinstall his OS along with the 8576892795 softwares I use; for the second time). When I came back from the honeymoon *crickets*. It was back to grindy McGrindster.

So yesterday when the boss man come up to me and asked how "it was going" I told him about it and how I was going to throw it out the window.

"We've ordered one but it was supposed to be a surprise and it has the biggest graphics card this side of the Mississippi"

Well honk my horn! I am so excited I could spit!Le po

Another drawing from a few years ago. I swear I'll be doing new ones!

Megan: Oh, I haven't had a chimmichanga in so long

Krista: I put one in mah Belly Friday night

Megan: :o( jealous!

Krista: O Chimmi, Chimmi! wherefore art thou Chimmi. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Chimmi is the sun! Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon. It is the east, and Chimmi is the sun!

Megan: Oh duuuude you need to draw chimmis as romeo and juliet!

So i look over and see my boss taping his pocket knife to a fed ex tube...hmm suspicious....i look over a minute later and see him doing this.

Then this transpires.

Me: ammm whacha doing over there Sir?

Boss: argh. I have no airflow in my office and its very frustrating. *pokes ventilation control panel on the duct that’s 16' above us*

Me: why don't I just call the mgmt co and have them come with a ladder and the necessary tools.

Boss: Oh! that’s a wonderful idea. What would I do without you?

Fall down and break your ass, I think to myself.

OK now i guess the whole story about how I actually GOT the Marshall's bookshelf is pretty funny (according to Meg).

So I was bored and I needed a bookshelf. I went to Marshall's because recently they have added a pretty decent home accents section. I walk in and there she was, a spot light came down from the heavens, the angels sang that AHHHHHHHH and I shed a little tear. That's was IT, exactly what I have been looking for.

Only one problem.

Some blond beyatch was hovering around it like a vulture, guarding that bad larry with her life. She had a gazillion things in her hand and it appeared that she was looking for her husband or someone to walk by. But i stayed calm folks, I was stealth, hid like a sniper yo. I waited by the faux finish chairs, palms sweaty, eyes squinted.

OH my goodness shes was leaving the area. I REPEAT THE VULTURE IS VACATING THE PREMISE!

Stealth Loo go's in and with one swoop I pick it up and run for cover.

You kow that james bond theme? I was singing it in my head but only with Loo's LooLooLoo, LooLooLoo, LooLooLoo, LooLoo.

and that my friends is a true story for all your grandkids

over and out,
Loo

There is this stuff. I hated it, if it was on my plate I'd gasp, make and scene and push it off to the side like I had just discovered a dead roach in my plate, or something.

What is the foul thing I speak of?

Guacamole.

Then one day, while I was up at Matt's parents house, I tried it. I was STARVING and everyone was eating it like it was their last snack, ever.

So I did it, I took the plunge and dipped my chip. And then dipped again, again, again, knocked down the three year old (get out my way lady, there is DIP) so I could have more.

The problem is now I cant get enough and the supermarket hardly carries it, but boy if they do? I buy it in bulk and make sure that I eat it all by the expiration (don't want to be wasteful!)

Does anyone know how to make this green gunk?

Preface, Demi has been acting wicked weird in the new house. She runs up and down the stairs, she'll stand at the top of the stair and howl. I've been joking that there are ghosts. Normally it doesn't bother me........

I came home last night and it was one of those commutes where I didn't hit any red lights, traffic was light so i was home about five minutes earlier. I put on my work out clothes, grabbed a snack and headed to the basement to show Mr. Treadmill he was my bitch.

I didn't realize the basement light was off, it was still pretty bright in the basement. Then slowly us the sun when down, it got darker.....and darker. Then suddenly I could barely see what was in front of my. But I thought it was kind of cool, so I'm screaming "MY HUMPS, MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS CHECK THEM OUUUUUT!" And I think I see something out of the corner of my eye. So now I'm all weirded out and I keep looking behind me and getting all sorts of bothered cause I can't see or hear anything (except now I hear Linkin Park*). At this point I'm all exasperated like I've just been running from something, I'm flailing because keep checking out what MIGHT be behind me.

This lasted for about thirty seconds where then I had to emergency stop the treadmill to turn on the stupid light.

*I need some new music

Bullet style!

Friday

• Got dinner for Matt
• Ran home
• ran to aerobics, worked out with E
• Ran home showered
• Got out of shower, sweating
• come tearing out of bathroom in undies
• scream at Matt for heat being on 71
• Matt makes comment on my attire. How can i be taken seriously when I have a band of cats (as in cats playing instruments) on my underwear with the words Meow across that ass and yes, those hideous socks.
• Run up to Hudson to get Jen and Cindy
• Go to bar at 9:45, argh! they are still serving dinner
• go to margaritas and drink margaritas
• back to bar, dancing now
• tequila shot
• Jen and Cindy moon me
• tequila shot
• I demonstrate running man to young men

Saturday

• ouch

Irrational = taking the lone bananas because you feel bad for them. I've been doing that, sometimes I end up buying more bananas than I need/want.

Does anyone else have irrational feelings for inanimate bananas objects?

I would buy a house that you could only get to by surfing dolphins.

Yup.

I had a dream that Matt and I found the cutest house with stone walls and hardwood floors (I heart rustic). And it was only 250k because there was no road access. The only way you could get to our house was by surfing dolphins. In my dream the house would occasionally float and turn into a shabby boat.

Mike: um

Mike: you should be wearing a polka dot bikini

krista: i was wearing business casual in my dream

Mike: hahaha

Saturday we hit Wingaersheek Beach. I love sea "creatures" but not all. I have a fondness for the hermit crab. Matt and I walked up and down the shore searching for these little beasts so I could, well, pick up and harass the shit out of them and scream, is anyone home!?

So there was one that I loved, in a white shell. I named him Sebastian and I visited him frequently while the tide rolled in. I went to bid my farewell and when I picked him up I was horrified. It was not Sebastian but I big boogery sea snail that almost came completely out of its shell. PWNED! I got the heebiest of all geebies and dropped that mfer and screamed like a little bitch.

Sunday Matt comes back from his evening walk with Bonny and tells me about an "aggressive" skunk. He described it hissing and then approaching them and I pretty much agreed that this was aggressive, given especially that it was still light out. rabies? Maybe. About an hour later we got a waft of skunky goodness in our living room, great. So it was my turn to walk the BonBonBeanButt. Apprehensively, I must say. So I cross the street to the park and hear RUSTLE BUSTLE RUSTLE in the leaves. So I start runningggggggg.

This morning I went walking and about 10 feet 100 feet away I spot a fox running coming towards me. So again I run.

Run right into a neighbor that tells me there are also coyotes, wild turkeys and deer in the park.

Lowell, people!

Fitting went swell, although the nice Brazilian woman was very perplexed by me. She was confused when she told me about the water stain at the bottom of my dress I shrugged. Then when I asked her to cut off the train, she gasped. Then when she put a flower in my hair, I rolled my eyes, then moaned, she laughed.

"Your funny!" she said.

I am funny alright and get that fricken flower out my hair!

Good news I can breathe AND SIT in my gown, two things that I couldn’t do in January. The alterations were so reasonably priced too. $210 for chopping off the bottom, lowering my arm holes (I had to lift the dress up a lot!), shortening the top and pressing!